According to a new report being issued today by the government’s Centers for Disease Control and Prevention... most Americans share Lopes’ experience of moving in with a lover before marriage, and most couples — 51 percent according to the CDC data — who do move in together wind up married within three years, just like Lopes. About two-thirds of cohabiters get married within five years.
The report, "Marriage and Cohabitation in the United States," shows that more people than ever are living together without being married. And, it also shows that marriage itself is doing just fine, thanks. Contrary to past dogma, the study also shows that there is no longer a meaningful divorce gap between those who live together first and those who didn’t.
...Most importantly though, the data show that those who live together have just as good a chance of staying married as those who do not live together first... Cohabitation has become such a standard part of the eventual transition to marriage, he said, that the old argument that cohabitation is risky for a future marriage “doesn’t hold water any more.”
...By referring to divorce as a failed marriage, or a cohabiting relationship as a “failure” if there’s a breakup, we’re creating potentially misleading perceptions.“Before I met my current husband, I had a fiancé I lived with,” recalled Maire. “I learned a lot about him by living with him.” The couple broke up, but she considers the relationship a resounding success since the whole point of living together was to avoid what she called “nasty surprises” once married.
Similarly, marriages full of conflict have repeatedly been shown to be harmful for children. So while growing up in a happy two-parent home is best, a divorce can be a success, too, if it saves a child from constant turmoil.
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